As marketing professionals, we often focus on persuading people to make purchases. However, the principles of influence can also be applied to other areas of life, such as getting someone to do you a favor or agree with your perspective. Influencer marketing is a potent tool, and there are numerous subtle strategies you can employ to win over skeptics to your way of thinking.
How persuasive are your influencing abilities? The next time you find yourself struggling to be heard, consider implementing one of these 29 tips to gently guide others towards your viewpoint. While it may not be actual magic, it comes remarkably close.
1. Guide Them to Ownership
People are far more receptive to advocating for their own ideas than those presented by others. Let’s imagine you work at a restaurant aiming to boost online orders. You might want to create a mobile friendly version of your website but are unsure if your coworker (or the decision-maker) will approve. Your conversation could unfold something like this: Coworker: We absolutely need to increase online orders this quarter. You: I’ve read that more and more people are ordering on their phones these days. It’s a shame our site isn’t mobile-friendly. Coworker: Maybe we should develop a mobile-friendly version of our website? You: You think so? That’s a great idea, it might really work! Coworker: Let’s move forward with this. While you may not receive direct credit for the idea, if your focus is on the bigger picture (in this case, driving online orders) or have a broader objective in mind, employing tactics like this can be instrumental in gaining support.
2. The Power of Favors
It might seem counterintuitive, but requesting favors from someone can actually increase their likelihood of assisting you in the future. Studies have revealed that scientists who asked subjects for personal favors received higher ratings in evaluations compared to those who didn’t. Why? Our brains tend to reason that if someone is willing to go out of their way for us, they must be someone we hold in high regard!
3. Aim High, Achieve Greatness
Another effective strategy for achieving your goals? Ask for more than what you actually desire. People often feel a sense of guilt when declining an initial request, making them more inclined to accept a subsequent, more reasonable request (which was your true intention all along).
4. Silence Your Inner Critic
You are often your own biggest obstacle. We frequently sabotage our own opportunities by convincing ourselves that we lack the skills, experience, intelligence, or talent to succeed. The reality is, you’ll never know your true potential unless you take the leap and try.
5. The Value of Genuine Appreciation
In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie emphasizes the importance of expressing sincere appreciation rather than resorting to empty flattery. Most of us possess a well-honed ability to detect insincerity, and while flattery can be momentarily pleasing, genuine appreciation is far more effective in building lasting connections. Identify something you genuinely admire about the person and express it to them.
6. Choose Questions Over Commands
Questions trump orders. Individuals are more receptive and willing to follow your lead when you present requests as questions rather than directives. For instance, “Could you finalize this by this afternoon?” is preferable to “Get this done by this afternoon.” Both achieve the same outcome, but orders can breed resentment, while questions empower others to rise to the occasion.
7. Be Generous with Praise
When seeking to win someone over, don’t hold back on genuine praise. Humans thrive on positive reinforcement. Praise uplifts others and fosters a positive association with the praise-giver. Just ensure that your compliments are authentic and heartfelt.
8. Seek Common Ground
Discovering shared interests is the fastest way to forge a connection. Do you both share a passion for Madden? Are you both avid Game of Thrones fans (who have, of course, read all the books)? Do you both spend weekends combing beaches with metal detectors? Identify a common hobby or experience with those you wish to influence and nurture it. For a strategic advantage, consider doing some casual social media research to uncover shared interests, making those “coincidental” connections even more likely to arise organically in conversation.
9. Nurture a Positive Reputation
Set a high bar for someone, and they’ll naturally strive to meet it. Establish clear expectations, and they’re more likely to follow through. In a workplace setting, this might involve praising Fred’s design skills in front of the team, expressing confidence that he’ll create an exceptional company newsletter. Fred, motivated by the positive reinforcement, will undoubtedly put in extra effort to exceed those expectations.
10. Show Genuine Interest in Others
Cultivating a loyal following requires demonstrating genuine interest in those around you. Was a coworker’s child unwell yesterday? Inquire about their well-being today. Did someone in the office welcome a new puppy? Ask about their training progress. These small gestures go a long way.
11. The Power of a Name
As Dale Carnegie wisely observed, a person’s name is the sweetest sound to their ears. Our names are fundamental to our identities, and using someone’s name in conversation makes them feel acknowledged and valued. Remember to address individuals by name during interactions to foster a stronger connection.
12. Embrace the Power of Visualization
Life often unfolds as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Visualize yourself as the person you aspire to be; in other words, embody the traits you wish to possess. If you desire to be influential, begin by cultivating that self-perception.
13. Master the Art of Listening
When it comes to influencing others, attentive listening is paramount. People need to feel heard and understood.
14. Speak with Confidence
Eliminate filler words such as “umm,” “well,” and “like,” which can inadvertently undermine your credibility and make you sound less self-assured.
15. Expect the Best
Similar to setting high expectations, this strategy operates on a more subtle level. In an episode of This American Life, researchers conducted an experiment to study the impact of expectations on behavior. Subjects were tasked with training rats, with half being told they were working with intelligent rats and the other half informed they had less intelligent rats. In reality, the rats were identical. Surprisingly, the “smart” rats significantly outperformed the “dumb” rats. This difference stemmed from how the subjects handled the rats based on their preconceived notions (the “smarter” rats were handled more gently, resulting in improved performance). We may not always be consciously aware of how our thoughts and expectations influence those around us, but their impact is undeniable. By expecting the best from others, you might be surprised by how often those beliefs are confirmed.
16. The Art of Mirroring
The saying “birds of a feather flock together” holds true, but you can adapt your approach if your “feathers” differ. Studies have shown that people tend to respond more favorably to those who subtly mimic their behavior (not in an annoying, copycat manner). Avoid overt imitation, which can backfire. Instead, focus on mirroring subtle cues like body language, posture, and speech patterns. We are naturally drawn to those who resemble us, and subtle mimicry can create a sense of kinship.
17. Leverage the Scarcity Principle
Marketers frequently employ scarcity to drive sales, but this principle can be applied to opportunities as well. To nudge someone towards a decision, try phrases like “we won’t have this opportunity again” or “this is truly a once-in-a-lifetime chance.”
18. The Power of a Smile
Studies have shown A simple smile can have a contagious effect, boosting not only your own mood but also the moods of those around you!
19. Introduce a Challenge
This valuable insight comes from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Carnegie observed that reframing a task as a challenge can be highly effective in motivating others. A touch of friendly competition can work wonders!
20. Embrace a Touch of Drama
While excessive drama is best avoided, a dash of theatrics can be surprisingly effective. Drama can add a personal touch to facts. If you need to make a compelling case and rally support, don’t shy away from injecting some passion into your delivery. This could involve using visuals like charts and graphs or simply speaking with greater emotion and using more animated body language.
21. Minimize Criticism
People generally dislike being criticized or corrected. To truly win someone over, strive to minimize criticism whenever possible. Of course, there are times when correction is unavoidable, in which case your approach is crucial. Seek to understand the root cause of the error and preface your feedback with a compliment or by finding common ground. For instance, you could say, “I used to struggle with Excel as well, and I notice you’re making a mistake I used to make frequently.” Always deliver criticism with the utmost tact and sensitivity.
22. Take Ownership of Mistakes
When you make a mistake, acknowledge it promptly and transparently. Offer a sincere apology for any wrongdoing. Holding yourself accountable demonstrates integrity and trustworthiness.
23. Choose Face-to-Face Interactions
Important conversations warrant face-to-face interactions or, at the very least, a phone call. Taking the time to meet in person demonstrates respect and allows you to better read the other person’s emotions and nonverbal cues.
24. Start with “Yes” Questions
Begin by asking questions that elicit a “yes” response before gradually leading up to your main request. This technique increases the likelihood of securing the “yes” you’re ultimately seeking.
25. Dress for Success
Different colors evoke different emotional responses, so consider your attire carefully before making a request. Blue can convey trustworthiness and reliability, while red projects power and energy, but may also be perceived as aggressive.
26. Power Posing
Want to exude confidence? Pay attention to your posture. Studies have revealed that leaning back and expanding your physical presence can make you both feel and appear more powerful.
27. Reflective Listening (Parroting)
Similar to mirroring, parroting involves paraphrasing what someone has said back to them. Here’s an example: Joe: Jaime Lannister is my favorite Game of Thrones character. You: Jaime Lannister is your favorite? Joe: Yeah, he’s a fascinating character, and a total badass. This practice, also known as reflective listening, makes the other person feel heard and understood, strengthening the connection.
28. The Power of Nodding
Research has shown that people who physically nod while listening to an idea are more likely to agree with it. Our physical actions can influence our thoughts (just as smiling can elevate our mood). The beauty of this technique? When someone observes you nodding during a conversation, they are more inclined to mirror your behavior. This subconscious mirroring can make them more receptive to your ideas.
29. Approach the Weary
Approaching someone when they’re tired can increase your chances of securing a favor. Their fatigue makes them less likely to engage in debate and more prone to agree. They may postpone the task until the next day, at which point they’ll feel obligated to honor their commitment.
That concludes my playbook on honing your influencing skills. Do you have any insights or strategies to share? Feel free to contribute your own secrets to success in the comments below!